Quest for Sushi and Xanax.

Today was the great quest for sushi. I have found out that where I am living at this time, with my parents mind you as they decided to relocate this past winter, well this place is seriously lacking in places to get sushi, sashimi etc. I did manage to find some this evening. I can�t live without the stuff. Where I live during the year it is readily available and where I used to live, even being forty five minutes from two large cities, I could get sushi at any number of places within a reasonable distance. Ugh Today was a cleaning day for me, looking around the city where I will be spending most of the summer and getting things in order; in other words quite boring except for my quest for sushi. I have a compulsion to study something and don�t know what to do with myself. I find myself jumping up knowing that something has to be read or written or reviewed. I have a couple of photography jobs which will take care of my boredom for a couple of days and provide me with a few dollars, and I do mean few. One is for regional news magazine-let and will be taking pictures of goings on in certain regions around this city; civic type activities mostly people pictures. This I can do all summer if I want. I will do a two hours shoot tomorrow at some brunch on the shore and then basically vege out again. Thursday I have to go to a town in Massachusetts and take pictures of old buildings. I actually like old buildings and these are buildings that were at one time factories. There is a certain premise to the whole thing but I am not going to elaborate too much here. I got this job via someone I know who knew someone I know sort of, and also via work passed on. It is a junk job as the photographer that assigned me to this doesn�t want to do it but then again I don�t blame him. He is somewhat well known in both the area I came from and on the coast of New England so I will do whatever he says and like it or not but do it anyway. Beggars can�t be choosers. This work is for a client of his and will be published but in one of those arcane architectural publications. The other problem is that the man that hired me wants me to send him the film and not have me develop it myself. This is kind of a freak out for me as I always do it myself when doing this kind of thing; I mean this really bothered me all day. I am not sure why but it seems like I lose some kind of control when I don�t do it myself and it almost puts me in a panic mode. I guess I like to control things. When I can�t control everything about anything I do I don�t deal well with it. I don�t want to control external events or people but I like to control everything that I do completely. Is this pathological in nature? Do most people feel anxiety when they can�t have total control over everything they do? I don�t know but that is the way I feel. Looks like I lose this battle though so bring out the anti panic medications. I want to work for this guy again so I will bite the bullet and pull out the xanax. Is it xanax ? I don�t know I have never taken anything but it sounds good to me at this point. I think my roommate last year took xanax for test anxiety or so she said anyway. I�m heading to Puerto Rico with a friend in a few days, she is my best friend from high school and I am always happy when I get to spend time with her. It will be more of a rest and some body boarding then anything else. Oh one other complaint before I go. I had to go to three places to find a Sunday Washington Post Sunday. What is wrong with these people? We get the NYT, WSJ but the post is something no longer ordered and I will have to rectify that I think or there is no living here. The paper makes me crazy sometimes but I can�t live without it.