5.21.2005

Searching for fluff and Country Club Dinners

Last evening: A continuation of my previous posting at least partially. The evening went partially as predicted with talk ensuing as scheduled. There were seven college age offspring and woe is me I was not the only one that was bored out of my mind. The funniest thing that happened, to make it brief and prevent my usual pontification, was that girl on the left, we will call her girl number one, had the immediate hots for guy across the table, (henceforth called guy number one), girl number one was absolutely gorgeous and probably worth photographing,( but she probably won�t concede to it because she thinks I have the hots for the guy she wanted), but had obviously already been with both guy number two and guy number three and guy number one was new to her. Guy number two and three go to Brown and UVA respectively and guy number one, hot by any standards, goes to Berkeley and is back home for the summer for the first time in two years so he was new to her. Stay with me here. Girl number one salivating over guy number one irritated because I am talking to guy number one and she can�t seem to get a word in edgewise. Guy number one, dressed immaculately but not looking as if he had put all that much effort into it and not really seemingly overjoyed by gorgeous blonde girl trying to get his attention. Guy number two and three are prattling on about sailing and golfing, offering to teach me to do both neither which hold much interest to me , discussing school and their future plans which include law school and med school respectively and how they are going to spend the summer taking a break from it all. Yes I can imagine they are.Guy number one discussing Africa , which overall holds more interest for me and not asking me to go sailing or offering to teach me to golf which also holds more interest to me. Something else which also holds more interest to me is that after the first half hour or so of dinner not cocktails, I am not that quick, but dinner I knew that guy number one was gay. I also knew that his parents had absolutely no clue as to that fact nor obviously did girl number one. My mother, for all her pain in the assness, also knew it hence a moment when she looked at me across the dinner table , while girl number one was desperately trying to get the attention of guy number one, and we shared a moment. These moments are exceedingly rare so when we share them I like to savor them. Bottom line is after dinner I took off to the bar with guy number one while blonde girl gave me hateful looks. I mean I couldn�t turn around and say look sweety he is gay you still want him now could I? He is an extremely interesting guy and overall I did end up asking him how it was that his parents had no clue he was gay and what he planned to do about it. This was probably rude of me but you know a shot of tequila and that is what happens. My mother I think just gave up and went home because as soon as I headed off with guy number one,( gay guy), she figured all was lost and that her attempts to find me proper male companionship for the summer had failed. She still just doesn�t get that I can find my own companionship and it does not usually come in the form of children of her country club compatriots.She is starting to get it though and I realize she is really a good mother and most of the antagonism I feel toward her does not necessarily stem from her little efforts to socialize me but from a deep down fear of totally disappointing her or maybe of disappointing myself and ending up nothing more in the end then the consort of some upper class career type whose only interest is the bottom line. Not too shabby an evening as after all I met gay guy and also girl number two and three who, I have not previously mentioned, were inordinately grateful that I had no interest in guys number two and three thus leaving both to them and their hopes for a summer love affair. They have therefore invited me to a few little outings over the summer one or two which actually sound interesting if not for social reasons for anthropological ones. The other thing that is weird is that they really don't serve crab here the way they do in Maryland. It always comes in some kind of mixture. Now I was never a crab aficionado as many people down there are, spending a whole evening picking crabs and drinking beer etc, but I never minded if someone wanted to pick them for me. They just don't do that in New England which for some reason annoys me but then again they don't have the bay to get crabs from I guess. I got home around eleven or eleven thirty and for some reason proceeded to want food. God knows why but for those chatting with me that is why I disappeared for an hour. I was looking for something and came upon a jar of Fluff. I have not seen fluff in like forever. I think my brother must have brought it with him. I immediately wanted a Fluff and peanut butter sandwich so I started to search for peanut butter. I searched and searched and searched some more. I was frantic for peanut butter. How that is a strict vegetarian, (my mother), does not have a jar of peanut butter in the house? I don't know. That being unsuccessful I finally gave up and went to bed.

4 Comments:

Anonymous joegarbial said...

I'm choking on my dinner.
This made me laugh.

5/22/2005 05:55:00 PM  
Blogger EsotericWombat said...

hah! Mistaken sexual orientations are always funny!

This one time I was on stage for an improv jam whose content had gone very un-PG. The rather witty and attractive female host asked, "Are you guys getting really horny, or what?"

I replied, "Why, are you?" evoking a laugh

She said, "Nope, sorry. I'm asexual."

I had never heard of asexuality as a sexual orientation until then. I stared into the spotlight, wordless. I came up with the line, "so does that mean you reproduce by mitosis?" too late. Not that it was particularly good, but it would have been better than nothing.

5/23/2005 04:44:00 AM  
Blogger Steve said...

Alice,

Great post, even better blog. I find it quite special when someone can be interesting while rambling on about nothing - good job.

That being said, I am now finding it hard to digest that you called me arrogant.

Or Sarah a sleaze...

All the best,

Steve

5/23/2005 06:39:00 AM  
Blogger SeizeTheNite said...

Good story...now I've got a craving for Fluff too.

5/23/2005 01:48:00 PM  

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