7.21.2005

Beer Can Hair and the PH of the Normal Vagina .....? Other Useless Items Included.

I must apologize to Doug at Waking Ambrose for my sophomoric response this morning. I was truly just trying to show off my advanced knowledge in the field of science as because I am anthropology and photography major people often don�t realize how brilliant I am. Back in the day I got a 5 on my AP chemistry and biology exams and I guess it was just one of those things�. I thought - acerbic, acid, low ph, ph of vagina being 4.5 it was just a normal response. Honestly. I read something this morning in which someone called their husband their spousal unit. Please, if I ever get married do not ever (shoot me first) let me call my husband "my spousal unit". Not that I am not fond of robots, but I want them to vacuum my house, clean my bathrooms, and drive me to the theater ( to see the Sex Pistols ) ; I don't want them to marry me. This actually made me laugh and cringe at the same time. I also, for some reason, felt sorry for the person who wrote that. The vision it brings to mind is not a pleasant one, at least not to me, and it�s sad(wrong) if people don�t see it that way; if it comes down to a unit or nothing I would rather be unit-less. I was bored the other night and the humidity was messing with my (straight when dry outside but curly when humid hair). Dear Matt suggested that he come over and take care of the problem, and as he has curly hair he felt he knew the solution. I was hesitant, he is a grad student at Brown in political science, but as he spent four years at Berkeley I decided to take the chance; so as non presumptive as I am about all gay men having some innate hair care ability I agreed.He brings over this jar of some kind of waxy stuff, tells me to wash my hair, I did of course; then he takes the blow dryer and heats up this jar waxy stuff until it is almost but not quite liquid , nice and emulsified. He then takes out these beer cans, and hair pins and proceeds to roll my hair up on the beer cans and the hair pins. The result was nothing more then some very straight, stiff wax coated hair in the shape of beer cans.All gay men are not natural hair stylists they just think they are. Random aim. Unknown faction: We�ve read your blog. Would you like to join our bandweblog ring. Me: I�m not a band. Unknown faction: It�s for poets too. Me: I�ve never been a poet. Unknown faction: but you like poets and musicians, like I said we read your blog. Me: Ah so you�re the web band blog CIA . Unknown faction: so what do you say? Me: I�m web ringed out is what I say Unknown faction: your loss Unknown faction: you�d make a good web band blog ring groupie Me: my loss This week, Eric Reeves, a professor at Smith College and an expert on Darfur, will be guest blogging at �The New Republic�. It is a week long crash course. Go read it. http://www.tnr.com/etc.mhtml?pid=2730 http://www.tnr.com/etc.mhtml?pid=2731 http://www.tnr.com/etc.mhtml?pid=2732 http://www.tnr.com/etc.mhtml http://www.tnr.com/ La storia si ripete

16 Comments:

Anonymous weirsdo said...

Is it o. k. in your opinion to have a husband who vaccuums, cleans bathrooms and drives to movie theater of your choice, as long as one doesn't call him a spousal unit?
Dr. Weirsdo does 2 out of 3.

7/21/2005 11:42:00 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

I don't need a reason for much of anything.

That's either Italian or a really bad latin :)

I'm thinking we need some more pics.

Yeah spousal unit is pretty sad (wrong).

Antropology, isn't that a really bad history major? Just kidding! Smile girl.

7/21/2005 11:50:00 PM  
Blogger Dave said...

But...sophomoric responses are...funny. I almost spit out my tap water. If you ever want to expound on those thoughts about ascerbic-ness, that's just the kind of nuttery I would put up on my site. I could pay you...in...I dunno, beer probably. I'd say "books," but damn it, I just donated a crapload of 'em, and there's no chance in hell you're getting my rare "Curse of Lono" tome which I rightfully stole from an undeserving cad.

dave
from Maximum Awesome

7/22/2005 12:06:00 AM  
Blogger Doug said...

Alice, you absolutely must not apologize to me. I really like reading both your site and your comments and I completely understand that Anthropologists have something to prove. Besides, at my age if "vagina" is shocking, I need to learn how to straighten hair. Or at least comb it.

I thought it was funny how with a word that refers to the personality turned into a string of body jokes and was poking fun at you all. No anger, just amusement in wolve's clothing.

7/22/2005 12:29:00 PM  
Anonymous pia said...

Doug's hard to piss off. As I work hard at pissing off everybody, I know!

Might do a weekend post on what I learned this summer. How to make frizzy hair look manageable with just a bit of wave during the most humid of days!

7/22/2005 12:36:00 PM  
Anonymous Jake said...

Alice��.. So that is what they call you here. I was getting confused. I don't get it but I guess is because I am in that area you called the wasteland, live and dead journal.

You may refer to us as a wasteland my tart tongued snotty but gorgeous friend but we get better pictures....or at least we used to.

I agree on the spousal unit thing it is not a nice term. I had one of those recently, at least she thought I was her unit and I don't want another.
You would make a good webbandblog groupie but I understand that you are above all that.

Now to trace the link and see what it is you did in the name of vaginas.

7/22/2005 01:57:00 PM  
Blogger SeizeTheNite said...

Who the hell actually says spousal unit?
I've got the humidity/curly hair problem too.
I will now remember not to try the wax/beer can combo.

7/22/2005 04:59:00 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

By the way, I am fascinated by the 4.5 Ph. How about the tongue and the heart?

And thank you, Pia.

7/22/2005 07:48:00 PM  
Blogger Ruben said...

You could be a band...I'd buy the record!

7/22/2005 10:25:00 PM  
Blogger Miss Krys said...

I'm not getting married, so I will live life sans my own spousal unit, thankfully.

There are 6.4 million more women than men in the US. I'll gladly give my up my dibs on a man. They suck. And I won't go for a woman; too much acid down there for me!

7/23/2005 12:16:00 AM  
Blogger EsotericWombat said...

Hmm... you know, I've been an educated wiseass for long enough that I really should have something to say about genital ph scales.

On the subject of gay men and style, it has been suggested to me by one or two friends that I whore myself out for fashion advice. "Take one for the team," they said. (what team?) Not that I'm going to do that, but were I, your example shows me that I should be careful whose advice I take.

7/23/2005 02:00:00 AM  
Blogger mojo shivers said...

I will get you to join our cult eventually, Cooper. You will be part of The One True Web Ring.

7/23/2005 03:10:00 AM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7/23/2005 01:58:00 PM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

weirdso: I suppose, as it is the unit concept that I find unappealing.

mj: It was Italian but incorrect and I had to change it.
I can't see how pictures will help get my point across and they seem to spawn various types of bizarre email.
Anthropology humm no one seems to get it.

Dave: One should never be selfish with their good books.
Beer, well one sip and the beer tastes like crap to me so Gin would be better. Bombay Sapphire.

Doug: :)

Jake: get out of town.

SeizeThe Nite: Yes do stay away from it if you can.

Pia: send pictures.

Reuban: I could be a band but take my word for it no one could tolerate the sound for long.

Miss Krys: We can agree on that.

Wombat: Do not under any circumstance " take one for the team" unles you're on said team. It�s ok I realize that there are not many people that can actually discuss vaginal ph scales. Let�s stick to castigation.

MoJo: Cult????? Ew..... Shivers....

7/23/2005 02:16:00 PM  
Blogger Indeterminacy said...

I thought it was OK. Now I know what to call that.

7/25/2005 06:07:00 AM  
Blogger EsotericWombat said...

Maybe not, but one of the few things that I hold myself to a higher standard on is my ability to discuss obscure subjects. I may be slipping.

7/25/2005 01:19:00 PM  

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