Less Poetry More Self Serving Bitching

I�ve been busy this last two weeks having fun and things of that nature. Indeed my brother is home from Italy, and I am still pissed I did not do any traveling this summer so I kind of want to kick him hard in the shins but there are other reasons for that as well. I took some kick ass photos of his girlfriend nude on a beach in Puerto Rico earlier in the summer and, due to a really nice friend of a friend, some studio stuff as well. His GF (OF OVER A YEAR AND GOD KNOWS THIS IS A RECORD, MAYBE A MISTAKE BUT A RECORD NO LESS) wanted them as surprise and a belated graduation / early birthday gift to him. I was hesitant as she is after all my brother�s gf and it sort of gives me the icks to think of it but what the heck; in the end the girls just want to have fun theme kicked in and I agreed. I wasn�t alone in this I had a co-conspirator of sorts. I�d done some kick ass pictures on that same beach after my senior year of high school. I was a budding photographer so you�ll have to forgive me this one. Anna had seen the pictures I did of two friends, (with their permission as I only have a couple of proofs, they own the rest of their photos) and felt this would be a good gift to give her boyfriend, my self righteous dick head of a brother. Now take my word for it these pictures were really good and any sane twenty two almost twenty three year old would have died for them. My brother�.sanctimonious asshat that he is of course practically blew out a nostril when he saw them. He turned greenish I hear and then came storming into the gallery where I was working. I was waiting for him to call my parents a thousand miles away to tell them how I had been a bad girl again. I of course had corrupted his GF. He continued in this way despite the fact that Anna had made if perfectly clear that she had requested the photos. He luckily was moving into his house over the weekend so I only had to listen to him disparage me for an hour prior to him leaving. I was not all that surprised as this is the brother that deleted aim off my computer in high school because a friend called him laughing about an away message I had on mine letting people know that masturbation was spelled with a u not an e; this is also the brother who went through roughly fifteen girls in the first three years of college. He is a dichotomy to himself I am afraid and Anna is welcome to him. I hear today, from Anna, that he did not throw the pictures away he put them in a dresser drawer and suggested they have one of the more modest ones enlarged and framed to hang over his bed. Why is that Joshy. Oh and the sad sack of crap actually scanned one to make it smaller and put it in his wallet. Asshat. The NYT is right the surfers are now fighting over the waves. Very territorial these people and rightly so I will fight for my wave until the end. Rather a poignant op-ed today in the Times called Coming Home read it if you can it�s not long and your attention span may hold out for it. Christ you know it ain't easy You know how hard it can be The way things are going There gonna crucify me


Blogger Doug said...

Alice, I couldn't find the article in the NYT. Is it online? There was an op-ed by Bob Hebert that was very poignant and may be along the lines of your article. No comment on Joshy and Anna but I chuckled. You seem so much wiser than your age, but Joshy sounds classically his age,

8/14/2005 11:51:00 PM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

Sorry, it was an op ed by John Crawford. " Coming Home". I don't know I am reading the classic version because I am a classic kind of girl.
Yes Josh is classically his age and I keep trying to tell him I am much wiser than he is. So far he seems blinded to that fact.

8/15/2005 12:09:00 AM  
Anonymous Jake said...

Having two younger sisters myself I can feel for him. He is probably protective of you and of his girlfriend do not be too hard on him.
I've no doubt you�re smarter than him but I would hate to have to worry about you being my sister.

On another note some nude pictures in a blog once in awhile is a good idea it brightens the spirits.

8/15/2005 12:54:00 AM  
Blogger Doug said...

Alice, have him give me a call.

8/15/2005 12:25:00 PM  
Anonymous pia said...

Doug's so funny today!

I would have probably given them the pictures also. What's wrong with nudity? Better than violence

Haven't read the Times today.

Loved your comment. You're so wise for one so young! (You bring your age up)

8/15/2005 12:44:00 PM  
Blogger Coyote Mike said...

It's not like they were nude pictures of you. And if he hasn't seen her nude yet, he should be thanking you. If he has, then what's the big deal? I once had to share a book for a class entitled "Human Sexual Behavior" with the guy who had just before broken up with my sister. We were in the same group as the girl he eventually married. Now that is awkward.

8/15/2005 12:57:00 PM  
Blogger Coyote Mike said...

Oh, and if you want really awkward, in 8th grade, I took a health class taught by my mother. You have never blushed until you have watched your own mother, in front of your entire class, put a condom on a banana.

8/15/2005 12:58:00 PM  
Anonymous Joe G said...

Older brothers, I'm one as well so no comment.
Giving that you had an icon of someone's very fine butt floating around here for some time I think maybe your brother does have something to be concerned about.

I prefer nudity over violence.

Your brother should be thanking you.

8/15/2005 01:49:00 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

Hell, I prefer nudity over blueberry pie.

8/15/2005 02:07:00 PM  
Anonymous weirsdo said...

Given your brother's inconsistency, I'm thinking that if he and Anna break up you may see your work in a major girlie magazine.

8/15/2005 02:43:00 PM  
Blogger W. S. Cross said...

Back when I was taking pictures regularly, I found the BFs were always the problem: rampant jealousy, as though someone might see their particular piece of ass. The POA had no say, BTW, either.

Then J. Geils came out with "My Angel's a Centerfold," and I had to laugh.

8/15/2005 02:51:00 PM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

Jake: Plenty of nude pitures all over blog lnd, mine are better but they will never be in blog land so there ya go.

Doug: Maybe I will.

Pia: Yea over violence definitely.

Coyote: lol, of course he should be thanking me but whatever and of course he has seen her nude I am sure he has seen more girls nude than I care to ever know about...ick. The thing with your mother now that is awkward.

Joe: yup yup yup
Doug: I actually prefer blueberry pie.

Cross: Who is J Geils?

8/15/2005 09:47:00 PM  
Blogger Coyote Mike said...

J Geils was one of the pioneers of annoying music that is overplayed on oldies stations and causes headaches and make my stomach hurt.

8/15/2005 10:13:00 PM  
Blogger breasier said...

I should have you do some art nudes of me too, darling. I'm sure Greg would get a kick out of that. And, contrary to the asshat of a brother you have, Greg will probably commission you to do more of them... and often.

8/15/2005 10:22:00 PM  
Blogger Sar said...

I can safely say that after reading about your taking nude shots of your brother's girlfriend, and the other guy watching his mom latex a banana, the most disturbing thing to come out of this post was the fact that you're not familiar with The J Geils Band (My blood runs cold, my memory has just been sold...) and worse that it's played on oldies stations! *feeling old*

8/15/2005 10:28:00 PM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

Ok I guess I am going to have to find it somewhere online and listen to it. I rarely listen to the radio so I probably wouldn't hear it from there.

Breasier: Awesome idea. I'm sure they would be kick ass and Greg would love them.

Sar if it makes you feel any better I am into Paul Simon?? ;)

8/16/2005 12:15:00 AM  
Anonymous chaser said...

Don't think you're missing anything with the J Geils thing. I could be wrong on that.

Do you do male nudes?

I'd volunteer for that I've always wanted top be a pretend playgirl centerfold.

8/16/2005 12:58:00 AM  
Blogger mojo shivers said...

No one can infuriate you like a brother or sister. They seem to possess this innate ability to annoy the bejeezus out of you and not even know it.

I think it has something to do with the fact they know all your weaknesses.

8/16/2005 02:46:00 AM  
Anonymous pia said...

Yes, my daddy went to NYU--me too for a year. It made him so happy!

He would show everybody the alumni paper where it said that "200 out of 2,000 applicants were accepted to..." Still think it was a typo! And they really meant everybody.

Oh thanks Cooper, I've just basically written my next post

and thanks for all your very kind words

8/16/2005 12:18:00 PM  
Anonymous John said...

Good old Josh, protecting his girlfriend and the virtuous sister at the same time. He can't win.

I hope to see you next week; do you think Josh will show me those pictures? I'm sure he'd love that you�re posting this all over the internet.

Yes she does do male nudes. Isn't that tight cooper? ;)

Don't feel bad I knew who J Geils was but I am not sure why but for future reference P Simon- J Geils not even close.

8/16/2005 12:37:00 PM  
Blogger Jack Burden said...

Your brother is a space alien. There is never a reason for a guy to freak out about pictures of naked women unless they are his mom, sister, or transgendered father/brother.

Either that, or he has compartmentalized his life to the point where he loses his shit when something categorized as romantic/sexual (naked pictures of his girlfriend) is in anyway associated with something in the family compartment.

Sometimes, people need to break life down into neat little boxes to get by, as opposed to looking it as the big, gooey, chaotic mess that it is.

I got $50 bucks that says he'd rather drink rubbing alcohol than acknowledging to himself that his younger sister is in fact a sexual being, as opposed to an ideal reserved for photos of old family holidays.

That being said, just don't go into "Hustler" territory with his girlfriend. Well, at least not without a good reason. Eh, just do it.

8/16/2005 03:51:00 PM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

Chaser: as has been noted I do male nude photography but only in a controlled environment and I have not done any in some time, it is not really a habit and when it was done it was done for didactic purposes. I actually have a funny story about that you may have given me a post idea.

MoJo: True, I know all of his weaknesses. I have none of course.

Pia: Your welcome and I think it is more like whoever can pay the outrageous tuition.

John: No for sure no .You know who J Geils is. LOL

Jack: He is a space alien, very organized, conservative and going to grad school to get a public policy degree�if that does not tell you something.
Seriously though as far as thinking of me as a sexual being well brothers and sisters do tend to think yuck when it comes to that but overall he was very helpful while I was growing up in that department even though I used to dig out his condoms and show my parents� letting them know that a good catholic high school did nothing in that regard. Come to think of it I am not sure why he didn�t kill me a hundred times over. We are just too totally different people. This is why I contend that in many ways environmental factors are not all that significant.
The other thing is this is the first gf in his whole life that he actually likes as a person, and he had to work for her so I am sure there are some issues there.

8/16/2005 08:40:00 PM  
Blogger thatoldsoul said...

Uh, don't you know being without clothes SENDS YOU TO HELL.

You are an excellent photographer, your bro should be proud. :)

I've seen your work (non-nude) and thought it was good, you need to show me more sometime.

8/16/2005 10:00:00 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

Your brother sounds like a fun guy.

I need to start taking more pictures. I have an awesome digital camera, but I never remember to bring it with me.

8/17/2005 11:55:00 AM  
Blogger Coyote Mike said...

Alice, is there any chance I could see some of your nudes? Not of your bro's gf, but just some of your work.

8/17/2005 05:55:00 PM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

If this does not go through this time I quit because blogger is sucking a large monkey dick right now and I have had a long day.

Then we are heading for hell the minute we slide out of that womb or whatever, I think I was pulled out with forceps but you get the picture. I'm not proud, I am either satisfied or not. Yea we will have to exchange some creative items.

MJ: flattered you stopped by even though you are soooo busy.
Josh is actually probably fun and from the looks of your blog and the links you have you would probably get along with him. We are just totally different people...can you say Democrat and Republican? There ya go.
Do take pictures; it is good for your soul.

Coyote: humm

8/17/2005 09:42:00 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

Oh but Alice I am a Democrat.

8/18/2005 03:28:00 PM  
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