11.01.2005

Nigtmare on Union Square or The L L Bean Giant Dream Strikes Again

I saw myself in fuzzy, inexpensive but warm, well made wool clog slippers. I was on the porch of a wide open farmhouse, presumably in Vermont, sipping tea. I was even wearing the typical plaid flannel shirt with the turtleneck underneath; my jeans were lined with warm plaid flannel as well. I wasn�t dragging in buckets of maple sugar but the aura was that it was a serious possibility. I was the quintessential L.L. Beaner, stuffing my grandchildren with wholesome oatmeal and raisin cookies while reading to them from Dickens, and Ogden Nash as I sat remembering how I had loved Ogden Nash when young, and had even named one of my first online journals I�m a Stranger Here Myself as a simple schoolgirl tribute. A golden retriever lay at my feet and my arthritic knees were kept warm by an old wool batik throw which I cherished for it origins, and for the fact that it was given to me by my first Indonesian lover, a lover from my time of freedom and absolute uncertainty. My papers of note, the work that had brought me my notoriety, were piled carelessly on the old kitchen desk covering the desk�s glorious patina, and taking away the desks ability to be seen, oh'ed and ah'ed over and objectively valued by the farmhouse guests for it's age. These papers were thrown carelessly without regard; as if they were nowhere near as important as in the reality of my heart and soul they were. It was as if my life in Vermont as a grandmother, master of dogs, and tender of the foliage were all that was important. There was; however, no feeling of serenity. It was a nightmare. Anyway I�m awake now, and have to go study, not that there will be anything to study as the fine institution I attend will be experiencing some strikage soon, but we won�t discuss my life of hard knocks here. In regard to the new Supreme Court Nominee all I can say is... Jesus. Now I never use his name in vain even though I don't think of him as the son of anyone but Mary, but I fear for us in this case. Should we have let the stupid not so bright evangelical in? No, of course not but let us not let this one in without a fight please. Seriously I have to digest all the ramifications of the new supreme court nominee and tend to an abrasion I obtained while parading around the village , not as the village idiot as some might presume but as a plain old box; slutty widows best not venture into the village at night for the same reason Red Sox fans shouldn�t. Need I say more? I was a slutty box though if that makes you feel better.

36 Comments:

Anonymous weirsdo said...

I enjoyed your nightmare (the first one, not the Supreme Court nominee). Did you know that mailing lists for Unitarians and those for L. L. Bean catalogs heavily overlap?

11/01/2005 11:40:00 PM  
Blogger avereragebusinessman said...

I'm glad the nightmare is over but what is wrong with LL Bean?

There will be a fight, how significant is yet to be seen but it may be vapid.

Thanks for stopping at my sight the other day.

11/02/2005 12:52:00 AM  
Blogger Rio said...

today my mother told me i would feel better if i had a strong relationship with god. i dont know what to do with this idea of hers.

11/02/2005 01:35:00 AM  
Anonymous john said...

The LL Bean nightmare, interesting.

It never clicked with me where you got the title of your dj from.

The real nightmare has just begun in the form of Alito.

Loved the great pumpkin thing too.

A slutty box? How does one manage that.

11/02/2005 01:40:00 AM  
Blogger EsotericWombat said...

I have the sudden urge to wander in the Village at night. Red Sox fans and slutty widows tend to be safer at night when I'm around. I just need to convince people that I'm bigger than them, and I'm rather good at that.

I am in concordance with you in regards to both nightmares, though I fear only one of them is likely to be ended by a forthcoming awakening

11/02/2005 01:58:00 AM  
Blogger Coyote Mike said...

I refuse to buy anything at LL Bean for a very simple reason . . . they don't have my sizes. :P But seriously, why spend $150 for a pair of jeans I can get locally for $20? And there is nothing wrong with warm winter memories, as long as one doesn't have to dress for the occasion.

11/02/2005 09:55:00 AM  
Anonymous weirsdo said...

Hey! Thanks for the comment on BE. I'm guessing you did the review, too?
I wonder who reviewed "The Pansi Files." They said my grammar wasn't that good. It's impeccable, unless Pansi is writing.

11/02/2005 10:12:00 AM  
Blogger Leigh said...

Alice, your nightmare was a warm fuzzy one, quite rare as nightmares go. I think what would it be even more frightening if you had bunny slippers instead and they turned rabid on you. As for a slutty box and a Red Sox fan...I myself have never been either.

11/02/2005 10:23:00 AM  
Blogger Doug said...

Actually, your nightmare spooked me too. Tell me, Alice. Tell me you'll always be edgy.

I kind of hope there won't be a fight over Alito but as often as things go my way in politics, I suspect you'll get your wish. He isn't an Evangelical, by the way. At least not according to the mushy definition people are using.

11/02/2005 12:54:00 PM  
Anonymous robotman said...

Edgy - On the Edge

I imagine she will be both and a slutty box too.

Endearing yourself to Christians everywhere I see.

LLBEAN = Frightening, but I think you could pull it off by pulling out the bb bar.

11/02/2005 02:00:00 PM  
Blogger protagoras said...

That the papers that had brought you notoriety will still covering your desk meant that they had been there for years and years. "Paper-patinated" - there's a Pulitzer in them-there verbiage.

Unlike the character in your dream I have arithmetical knees. On a really warm day, I can count up to 22.
On a cold day I can count up to 6 with shoes and mits. Don't mind none though, cause its rare I catch more than 6 ice-fishin', I guarantee.

I'm a regular human abacus- Suuuwweeeehh!

Take that you uppity city-slicker.

11/02/2005 03:37:00 PM  
Blogger Graham said...

It's early days with Alito, but there are plenty of promising signs. If it can clearly be established he intends to overturn Roe then 53% to 37% think that he shouldn't be confirmed. That's pretty good news, and should instil some confidence in Senate Democrats. People also so support a fillibuster by a couple of points left. How Alito explains his vote in the Planned Parenthood vs. Casey case will be key. If someone nails him on it, his confirmation will be in trouble.

So be hopeful :)! And do take care of your precious box. Make it happy and stuff. Oh wait, I read that all wrong... never mind :P.

11/02/2005 05:20:00 PM  
Anonymous Helen said...

I moved to Vermont and BAM, all of a sudden I'm getting those LL Bean catalogs. They must buy a mailing list from the state or something.
Peace.............

11/02/2005 07:54:00 PM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

Weirdso: The unitarian thing does not surprise me and yea it was me not the pansi file one though. ha ha poor grammer - evidently they aren't really reading it at all or most likely just not getting it. You have to be brilliant to read it and get it. ;)

Bizman: If you don't know I can't tell you.

It certainly not be vapid, and you're welcome.

Rio: ask her if he's cute and where he lives. ;)

John: add eyelashes and paint on some undies.

Wombat: it's actually pretty safe but never as a RS fan and indeed I am sure if you were around people would feel safer; that is if you were their friend. I am glad you concur.

Coyote: Their sutff is not that expensive but I'm not sure it is made that well anymore.
Sometimes you get what you pay for... I am very expensive.

It was the typical yuppie grandmother idea that I was mocking. :)

Leigh: I am no kind of team sport fan except maybe college basketball and that only in March; Their is however a rivalry of some kind between NY and Boston that provoked that little tirade.
I had bunny slippers once.

Doug: Edgy???? lol Does that mean like writing close to the edge of the paper cuz yup most likely always.
There will be a fight.;) Oh evangelical- I was talking about HER ( the discarded nominee).
Should we have let the stupid not so bright evangelical in?

robotman: I try to endear myself to all.

protagoras:

yes my PP ;) Popular Poop though in this case.

I'm always impressed by Math knees. Actually I was born in Vermont- have lived a lot of places - but have only lived in NYC since going to college.

Graham: It goes without saying that the overturning is a coming. That was quite sick.................oh maybe I read it wrong as well. ;)

Helen: We used to get them in Providence and in Maryland too. lol

11/02/2005 10:37:00 PM  
Blogger protagoras said...

My being popular with you, or your writing popular with others, or both as neither, either or either?

11/02/2005 11:39:00 PM  
Blogger transience said...

a slutty box in clogs? that's enough of a nightmare for me. i wander where one can purchase run-of-the-mill nightmares. i had one where i saw jesus being crucified. which goes to show that even i don't want to be in my own head sometimes. and i like oatmeal and raisin cookies. the sugar content has me bouncing off walls.

11/03/2005 01:03:00 AM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

protagorus: Does it matter?

Tran: I sell them pretty cheap to people that I have linked.

I have, luckily, never had dream of crucifixation.

11/03/2005 01:12:00 AM  
Blogger mojo shivers said...

Abrasions happen. That's why I don't believe in holidays other than one's birthday and anniversaries of other important days that happened to you.

As for your nightmare, I often have the same types of nightmares except all the dreams I can remember always end the same way.

A leaf slowly falls.

Damn haikus.

11/03/2005 03:06:00 AM  
Blogger RuKsaK said...

I wouldn't mind popping into your nightmare and chomping on a couple of cookies. Then I could saunter on through town into someone else's.

As for the supreme court stuff - I have no idea about American politics, but know you have a silly president thing in charge.

11/03/2005 06:49:00 AM  
Blogger The ZenFo Pro said...

LOL...I've had similar nightmares, but usually involving grandkids, cardigan sweaters and a corncob pipe. And a farm in North Carolina.

How does one exactly dress as a slutty box?!? Is tha like a giftwrapped package from the Hustler Store?

Alas, I'm starting to miss Harriet the Deer-in-Headlights Nominee. Atleast he didn't nominate Ashcroft.

11/03/2005 07:17:00 AM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

mojo:
Damn haikus is right. lol

ruksak: indeed we do have a silly president thing in charge.

zenpro- eww North Carolina.slutty box question already answered. i really was not a slutty box but it makes good copy.

11/03/2005 10:55:00 AM  
Blogger The ZenFo Pro said...

LOL...I'm a librarian. You'd think I'd know how to read...duh. (Hooked on Phonics is helping, however ;)

11/03/2005 12:57:00 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

I like the golden retriever part of the dream.

But do be careful at night, especially as a slutty box.

11/03/2005 02:06:00 PM  
Blogger protagoras said...

Yes, I cannot tell whether you find my irony offensive, or not. So much of what I say can be misconstrued. If you don't think you have the same problem, I wouldn't believe you.

11/03/2005 05:50:00 PM  
Blogger I.M. Dedd said...

The president you guys keep referring to...he's in charge?

11/03/2005 06:13:00 PM  
Anonymous joe g said...

Making light of Jesus and evangelical not so smarts will not make you many friends.

Papers of notoriety indeed.

The L.L. Bean horror seems to be one that many Americans can relate too.

On the edge and over the edge I say.

Nicely done for a slutty box.

as always


joe g

11/03/2005 07:10:00 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

Sorry, Alice. My bad. Sometimes I don't read so good.

11/03/2005 07:12:00 PM  
Blogger Bennet said...

You were a slutty box?...Oh well don't be so hard on yourself, every one is a slutty box sooner or later except for the Beaners.

As time continues I'm beginning to think we should all go back to worshiping things like the trees, the stars, or the sun because they do their own thing consistently.

Should we fight the evangelicals? Perhaps but you know what happens when you tell an idiot to shut up ......he keeps going and going until you're miserable. We must ignor them and stop treating them as people who shouldn't be locked up. We should load them into giant rockets and send them to discuss life with my Sun God.

11/03/2005 07:19:00 PM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

Zenpro: I hear hooked on phonics works well for librarians. ;)

I realize no one really reads this stuff. Although they should as it's the shit.

mj: you know i'll be careful. I also know you're going like "wtf why am I reading this�.

protagoras: Irony?????????????????? LOL
The fact that I have convinced myself I understand at least half of what you write is seriously starting to concern me.

dedd:
don't make me beat you up over this dedd...........kidding

joe: you left off your email address are you starting to get nasty spam. lol You are always so polite.

Doug: Yes, your bad, and I see you are taking English lessons from the naked gymnastic people again.

bennet: every one is a slutty box sooner or later except for the Beaners. My point exactly. I have always worshipped the mountains myself.

11/03/2005 09:42:00 PM  
Blogger finnegan said...

Careful Jesus, an eclipse!

11/05/2005 02:01:00 PM  
Anonymous pia said...

Liked your nightmare also, the LL Bean one

Since I have been blogging I have found that Doug isn't the only true Christian--and I say that with admiration and respect who likes edgy

I know, it doesn't seem to make sense, but...

Don't you live in the Village?

11/05/2005 05:39:00 PM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

Finn- ha ha
Pia - i live in a dorm on union square but spend most of my time in soho at a friends apartment because frankly the drom thing is getting old and the apartment is huge more like real life.

11/05/2005 10:10:00 PM  
Blogger rs6471 said...

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
Douglas Adams- Posters.

11/22/2005 05:51:00 AM  
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