Time, Time, Time, See What�s Become of Me

I want to thank Roscoe Bartlett ,( a Republican congressman from a red district in a blue state with a red governor, representative of the district where I am still registered to vote in the state of Maryland), for voting against the renewal of the Patriot Act. Should he still be alive when I return I am going to go and give him a great big kiss for the effort. Weekend mail bag:

Dear Alice in Wonderland or Not We have been monitoring your blog, and email recently (as allowed by the laws that the current president makes up as he goes along); it's not that we think you are a terrorist or pose any immediate threat to national security, but because you have shown, at any given time, a great irreverence for the leadership of this country. You also get a lot of email from Brown University and that alone, as you can guess, is a red flag. We do not take it lightly when some young democratic college student who is registered to vote as a resident of one blue state, is attending college in another blue state, wears blue jeans and claims her father is "The Architect" of our current administrations climb to power while at the same time portraying him in a photograph as being a rather lecherous potentially incestuous father at that. If you had just not had him staring at your chest missy, we wouldn't be writing you now. We call this type of activity cyblandery - a form of internet slander /forgery. We therefore are within our rights as we understand them ( ha what's to understand really you ain�t got no rights bitch) to continue to monitor your internet activity and any further email you receive. We understand you go to a school where periodically the administration hacks into professor/student correspondence, so this should not be a new experience for you. (The world is awash with conspiracy missy) In the meantime: We'd appreciate it if you would decease photo-manipulating pictures containing republican government officials into your family album, unless of course you can portray them as the gentlemen and women they are and treat their photographs with respect. (we prefer the word photo � manipulations to photo-shopping as it sounds more secret agent worthy) Hint: Your activities would not have been scrutinized so completely if Mr Rove had been presented as your boyfriend (in place of that treasonous comedian from HBO) instead of your lecherous daddy. You may take all the liberties you desire on photos of television personalities, as long as they are not FOX television personalities. Democrats on any level of government are good candidates for cyblandery and feel free to exercise your creative license on them. We enjoyed looking at your private correspondence, it makes us hot ( and god -- that phone sex you have does more for us than the Paris Hilton Video ever did - yea we listen in on those too), and god knows in this cold world reading something that promotes a quick masturbatory effort while reading the emails of others and talking to Cheney on the phone,is always welcome. Happy Holidays Remember, Big Brother is watching, and we don't mean that traitorous grad student at Brown who carries around that silly man-purse your mother bought when he graduated from that treasonous bastion of decadence in Connecticut last year. Go Huskies.
Weekend rehash: Check out Pia�s great post from her blog reposted partially on Pandagon...where they blah blah bla-ed about it in the comments.Some people can't see for forest for the trees. Wombat looking hot holding his new girl and then check out his death capital punishment post. Dougs Christmas cheer.
Sensenbrenner Announces Bipartisan, Bicameral Agreement on Violence Against Women Act Reauthorization; Agreement Paves Way for Approval by Senate Today and House Soon Thereafter
Absurdity Jam where we discuss internet stalking. How to dance properly to help you prepare for your holiday parties. Stolen from a link at Majikthise.
Ahhh, seasons change with the scenery Weaving time in a tapestry Won�t you stop and remember me At any convenient time Funny how my memory slips while looking over manuscripts Of unpublished rhyme Drinking my vodka and lime But look around, leaves are brown now And the sky is a hazy shade of winter Hang on to your hopes, my friend That�s an easy thing to say, but if your hopes should pass away Simply pretend That you can build them again
Paul Simon


Blogger Doughboy said...

Great post Alice, Keep up the good work and I know you will. Easedropping brothers suck. Mine likes to steal my orange soda and chips from my room. Wouldn't be so bad but he don't even live with me.:) Have a Happy Chismahanakwanzaka and Good Luck to you.


12/17/2005 02:07:00 AM  
Blogger I.M. Dedd said...

happy holidays, kid.

12/17/2005 08:16:00 AM  
Blogger Doug said...

Oh, I laughed until I coughed. The terrorists won and, by terrorists, I mean you and I.

It's good to see that slowly, almost imperceptibly, Republican legislators are growing back their gonads. I'm delighted to see it as long as they don't breed.

12/17/2005 09:15:00 AM  
Anonymous pia said...

Wonderful post Alice--maybe we are winning--with you around Karl doesn't stand a chance

Thanks for the heads up; won't answer any more comments there. Idiots who are too chicken to have their own blogs or who have super froth and like to laugh at people who actually say or do things

12/17/2005 10:01:00 AM  
Anonymous Shayna said...

Happy Holidays, Alice!

The Pandagon comments childish...

Pia is awesome... her faith is brilliant and she is a wonderful writer.

Take Care!

12/17/2005 10:43:00 AM  
Blogger EsotericWombat said...

I came here as soon as I heard about the Patriot Act getting quashed. Excellent.

That Rove stuff is bloody hilarious

Thanks for the nod *grins*

12/17/2005 11:06:00 AM  
Blogger Miz BoheMia said...

Lots of goodies in this post! Enjoyed it all... from your thoughts to your links!

Have a fun weekend. Don't study too much...

12/17/2005 11:40:00 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

Loved the email. I think I might plagarize it and use for my own purposes :)

Have a Merry Christmas and fun on your break from school.

After New Years I should have more free time to blog and read yours.

12/17/2005 01:28:00 PM  
Blogger Coyote Mike said...

Hey, I got one of those e-mails, but it was for hanging a "Green Party" flag in my window while I live over the headquarters for a Republican canidate for the Senate.

12/17/2005 09:31:00 PM  
Anonymous weirsdo said...

So is Roscoe Bartlett gonna be your new daddy? In a respectable way, of course.

12/17/2005 10:49:00 PM  
Blogger protagoras said...

Dear Missy with delusions of grandeur:

It is a known fact that Rove quit reading your blog months ago. He subsequently turned its perusal over to the FBI.

With Love,
Agent 445

12/17/2005 11:49:00 PM  
Anonymous iwasrobotman said...

God love Roscoe, too bad I won't have time to stop in and have a beer with him.

No surprise in that letter. I always figured they would be watching you for some reason missy,

The dances will really come in handy.............

12/18/2005 01:16:00 PM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

thanks dough - boy

happy holidays dedd

doug: I hope you were able to curtail you cough..and you didn't like pee your pants or anything. We have won...are winning.

Pia: yes idiots all.

shayna: come back

wombat: si i am like the place you come to discuss...um...liberal politics? lol

thanks mizzy B. I did study too much but I also did other stuff.

MJ: thankis mj, I have a few more days until my break begins. Enjoy the holidays and celebrate hard..comeback anytime.Until I tell you to stop...;0

Coyote: that was a good move.

robotman: you dance like a fool. Love ya though.

Weird: naw, he is way old.

Protagoras: I do have delusions of grandeur don't I.Obviously you do as well agent 445.

12/18/2005 07:25:00 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home