I'm on Fire and Other Bull Shit

As promised and with much hesitation I give you the Readers I�d love to Fuck. Yes, I said fuck and I apologize to the home schoolers, but you should not let your kids on the computer without supervision anyway.Credit for the following meme goes to the miscreant over at BLGD

Hey little girl is your daddy home

Did he go away and leave you all alone

I got a bad desire

I�m on fire

I feel that if you have to do a meme you must make it as short and succinct as possible. In keeping with that basic philosophy I decided that five was my lucky number. I'm am getting a cold and I�m a bit of a baby when I have to use tissues and take antihistamines. One has to be very careful when under the influence of anti histamines you know.

Tell me now baby is he good to you

Can he do to you the things that I do

I can take you higher

I�m on fire

Think of my sidebar like the nominations for an Academy Award. If you did not make the RILF list just remember ������..it is an honor just to be nominated. ;)

Sometimes it�s like someone took a knife baby

Edgy and dull and

cut a six-inch valley

Through the middle of my soul

So, let me present to you the first annual (or bi-annual ..or weekly for all I know) Wonderland Or Not RILF meme.

1. First and foremost of course we have���������������.Lab Leigh Surfer Girl.

�What�!!!! you exclaim in shock.

Who better to have a first lesbian experience with than a surfer woman from California, an only slightly older one at that, who happens to be getting a damn straight sexy wet suit very soon. I do so like the feel of expensive wet suits. Think about it. I�m sure there are lessons to be learned somewhere on the northern coast of California�..California here I cum��� ;)

2. Da da dummmmm.�. second but actually always first.

The Dawg�����..�ewwww� you say �dog�? �How could you.�

Look at it this way, how often do you get to�. Ummm� �shag� a bitter, cynical dog with une voie avec les mots.

Don�t you worry that is not a silly French disease either.

Come here pretty dawgie��. I want to have words with you�..come on now alice won�t hurt you she wants to give you some suger. ;)

3. The Dedd Guy of course. Not that he ever reads this, but imagine what you could do with a dedd guy?????????????????? I personally think that all my fantasies could start and end right there. You all know what I am saying�..come on admit it.

4. MoJo of course.

Don�t you all just have that urge to do the first person that commented on your blog? Of course you do; plus he seems to be rather full of himself and is self purported to be kind of �fussy, particular and at times downright a pain in the neck. I'd stop that nonsense in about two seconds. If you think he is particular now, once with me he'd never be satisfied with anything less ever again. We would go to Prince Edward�s Island of course to do the deed.

5. Last but not least�.. The Esoteric Wombat

�Oh shocker� you exclaim sarcastically.

I feel almost like a pedophile in this case as I have never even dated anyone younger than myself never mind �done� them but it is so.. I feel it is my duty to take the hand of youth and show him the way. I think him having a ponytail, (can you imagine what you could do with that), being six foot five, and having size fifteen shoes has something to do with it. How often does one get the opportunity to see if they are up to that challenge? In addition I think he's really smart. ;)

At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet

And a freight train running through the middle of my head

Only you can cool my desire

I�m on fire

Read it and weep or vomit it matters not to me.

Sweet Dreams


Blogger The ZenFo Pro said...

Lol...I'm heartbroken I didn't even get an honorable mention ;)

You know, Leigh's in my Top Three. Surfer Tech Girls, regardless of orientation, are always 1,000 time hotter than the hottest supermodel.

Go Leigh! And congrats to Esoteric Wombat and everyone else.

1/20/2006 09:43:00 PM  
Blogger EsotericWombat said...

Awesome! I've never been anyone's guilty pleasure before!

Are you going to follow the precedent and make badges?

Furthermore, are we to consider ourselves tagged?

1/20/2006 11:01:00 PM  
Blogger avereragebusinessman said...

Like you said I just feel honored to have made the link bar.

I don�t think I would have guessed that list. Except for the wombat and the dog as you seem very fond of talking to the animals. My wife is reading this (I am just about to tell her to get her own blog); she wants to know how old you are and is thanking god we didn�t have a girl.

A very nicely written RILF list.

1/20/2006 11:24:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Honored to make the side bar nominations � and that�s good enough foe me. Amazing how blogg�d RILF can seem so base, and Wonderland RILF can be so satisfying. Alice, there is something special about you.

1/20/2006 11:24:00 PM  
Blogger protagoras said...

I would never put anyone on my list unless I had met them in person.

I'm shallow and deep like that.

1/20/2006 11:36:00 PM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

zenpro: well honey child if I really thought it would break your heart I would have added you but.....you haven't been here that long and have yet to earn your keep. ;)

wombat: who said anything about guilt? Catholic school ... That is why I petitioned my parents to allow me to go to public school. ;)
You want me to make you a badge wombatty?
As you know I never tag people, I'm too cool, but the meme is open to those dying to let the world know what the world doesn't really want to know.

I'm just glad you stopped crying and say hi to the wife and tell her I hope the next one is a girl.

bell: Yes well wonderland is a classy place and blgd is where a place to go when you want to let the demons out.

protagoras: awww
Fridays are my shallow days.....before the weekend when the serious and deep do not read blogs. ;) I knew you were the shallow deep kind though.

1/21/2006 12:14:00 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

I'm honored indeed for the link on the sidebar. I'm working on a comeback of sorts. I do have a new update of some opinions on my PN site, and I'm thinking about doing an update to the update within a few days.

I would dig businessman's wife's blog :)

I would give up reading blogs forever if Alice/Cooper ever left.

1/21/2006 12:30:00 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

Sorry, I hope it's okay to say cooper.

1/21/2006 12:30:00 AM  
Blogger Miz BoheMia said...

Ooooh! Good choices Lady A! I was going to comment on certain chosen ones but then I might stir some trouble like I did with the whole love triangle over at Leigh�s so this bohemian shall stay mum...

Cyberlove and blogofuckin'... who knew! :-0

1/21/2006 12:39:00 AM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

Well mj dear if it's not ok it is too late now...I have at least five thousand visitors every minute you know. ;)

I will go over to your site, if I can't contribute something sensible tonight, as I have taken several benadryls and am sneezing and coughing I will tomorrow.
I knoew you would not be away for long...

it's in the blood this blogging thing.....


1/21/2006 12:43:00 AM  
Blogger Miz BoheMia said...

Actually, I must fight for Leigh! I was declared her favorite boho mama! This cannot be! Plus, she has offered me a private showing of her... wetsuit...

Oh no, no, no, don't funk with my heart!

1/21/2006 12:44:00 AM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

I knoew I'd have trouble with you miz bohem...i just knew it...

Well it's fun to add fifteen comments of my own..

Bed for me the three benadrlys are kicking in and I am feeling ...tired but without drippy nose.

1/21/2006 01:31:00 AM  
Blogger Miz BoheMia said...

What would life be without a teeny bit o' drama? Just trying to do my part! ;-P

1/21/2006 02:20:00 AM  
Anonymous shayna said...

Okay... I must say I will have to fight for LEIGH as well... SHOCKER! ;) :) :) :)

AND... EW... *jealous* Although I tooooo feel like a pedophile... I do love an older man... but I believe he is an older man (in the since of brains and logic) in a young mans body... I love any man who can play the guitar... Ophelia :)

I'm just getting to know Doug... so... I couldn't say I would with him YET! ;)

I would have to go with MJ... :) I love southern, DEMOCRATIC men... :) married we both are...<

If AverageBusinessMan wasn't married and I of course wasn't married... Yeah! ;)

And # 5 would have to be Sgt Hook... Love a man in uniform... He rattles my feathers a lot but in a good way... but then again we are both married...

You know if my hubby were to read this... He would be saying "WHAT THE FUCK!" :P

1/21/2006 08:46:00 AM  
Blogger Miz BoheMia said...

*DOUBLE GASP* Leigh is mine!

1/21/2006 10:25:00 AM  
Blogger Leigh said...

Oh my! I didn't realize I was in such demand. You ladies are gonna tire me out!

Alice - So flattered I am on the list! Yes, cum to Cali..hehehe
It was the wetsuit that did it, wasn't it? ;)

Jason- Awwww, so sweet...yes regardless of my orientation, I am still very flattered to be on your top three. And perhaps to your surprise, you are one guy on my list :)

Miz B. - Don't worry, you are still my favorite boho mama, but I think sharing would be appropiate in this situation. Don't worry, you still get the private fashion show.

Shayna - I wouldn't leave you out! We'll fit you in there somewhere, I'm sure there's room for everyone... hehehe

So, there's my RILF list - not in that particular order. I will post my reasons on my blog later this afternoon.

1/21/2006 11:06:00 AM  
Anonymous joeg said...

Only you can do a meme and make it seem classy.
Like that meme you did some time ago about music, the meme is interesting.

I would have guessed the wombat and the dog from the get go. The surfer girl was a surprise.

Dedd guys of course.

Almost worth starting a blog just to have the potential to be on the list.

1/21/2006 01:44:00 PM  
Blogger EsotericWombat said...

ok, do I need to mention just how hot all of this hypothetical girl-girl action is? Alice, for creating this thread,you win at the internet.

1/21/2006 02:54:00 PM  
Blogger I.M. Dedd said...

I'm going to forgo my usual trenchant remark. I'm honored and happy to have made your list, my dear.

1/21/2006 03:28:00 PM  
Anonymous jake aka caseyjake said...

That girl orgy thing they started is pretty hot.

I know I�m not on any sidebar because I don't have a "real" blog. I know I wouldn�t have made the list anyway because you do not like blondes and the first time (only time) I ever met you back in high school at that lacrosse game with G you totally dissed me, or maybe the term is disregarded me.

I'm hooked on your blog regardless and the only thing I do not have to thank you for is jenn. ;) That was also your fault in a way. Not directly you understand.

Keep up the great journaling with an occasional lapse into the inane and perverted.
I'm thinking about starting one as your Cornell friend did and using my dj name rather than my lj name. Watcha think?

1/21/2006 03:44:00 PM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...


Poor Leigh the drama never ends for her lately.

tall young mans body...with size fifteen feet don't forget that one and I only have a year on him.

leave my dog alone......or it could get ugly.

mj is cool but
I can't write down married a man�s names because frankly it would seem strange.

Leigh: it was partly the wetsuit, you would have made the list anyway but the wet suit made you number one.

joeg: yea start one I�m getting sick of this.

dedd: awww I feel so honored that your opportunity for a trenchant remark for me.

jake: You always talked/posted too much.
I preferred your dj name it was more you...

1/21/2006 08:38:00 PM  
Blogger weirsdo said...

Smart Alic!!!!! I must remind you AGEN that Mr. Dog is MINE in HEAVEN!!!!!!!!
Also, tho I beleave HOMOSEXUALLITY is a SIN!!!!! I hapen to also beleave I have a WAY beter body than most of you're reader's and am real suprized not to be on you're list, even tho AGEN I say, it is sinfull and JESUS woudent like it!!!!
No kisses for you today!!!!

1/21/2006 08:44:00 PM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

Pansi: well you know what my " "used to be famous older drunk, stoned nyc boyfriend" Billy Joel used to say about dying with the sinners and all...... only the good die young. ...and I promise I'll attend your funeral.

wombat: i know i win at the internet...i win at everything.;)

1/21/2006 09:08:00 PM  
Blogger robotman said...

Sorry I'm so late on this one.

I think you're having too much fun.


1/21/2006 11:07:00 PM  
Blogger weirsdo said...

Oh!!!!! Tx, Smart Alic, I guess!!!! I no I'll dye young cuz I'm all ways 17 us Barbie's can do that!!!!!
Dont overdress like in you're picher there.

1/22/2006 10:02:00 PM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

at least I wear some type of clothing most of the time.

1/22/2006 10:29:00 PM  
Blogger Bennet said...

I didn't make the list, oh well..durn-it...

I think maybe some day I'll a list called
Things I'd Like To Fuck

Group of objects just waiting to be penitrated...Oh boy...

1/24/2006 06:36:00 AM  
Blogger Indeterminacy said...

I think this meme could end blogging once it starts going around.

Anyway, I hope I make one of the other lists.

1/25/2006 02:44:00 AM  
Blogger zydeco fish said...

That's a great meme, but I don't think I could do it.

1/25/2006 01:13:00 PM  

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