Happy New Year

Strange how things work out. Strange things happen, and they may appear to be good on the surface but sometimes they annoy you. My parents tend to annoy me. I am not sure why but it seems that they are not getting a divorce and have been working on a reconciliation for some time. I am not sure what is going on exactly but they told me at Christmas. I think that they went to counseling or something. My brother appeared to know but as usual ------ is left in the dark as she is a delicate flower that needs to be kept from these things. I am sure the intentions were good as they probably didn't want to get my hopes up. I mean after all those years of marriage to let something as stupid as an affair end it, well doesn't seem right does it? (dripping with sarcasm here) It occurred to me that possibly they got back together to unite their efforts to get me to see the light and to stop seeing "The Professor" as my brother calls him. They somehow felt that my seeing some guy that was eight years older, (ok eleven), is indicative of a rebellion against the recent break up of their marriage. I'm nineteen years old for god sake alittle past rebellion. What do they think that I am somehow less safe with him than I am in the dorms of NYU; if they only knew.At least I can breath in the hallways of his place without fear of inhaling God knows what. Taking a break from all men right now though. The worst part of Christmas was missing my grandmother; this is the first Christmas without her and that is hard. She was not that old and was so lively and so much a part if me that it is painful. People are sad when people die because they are selfish and I am selfish and want her back. I miss her more than anything on earth. I am going on vacation to Jackson Hole and then to Utah to snowboard. I missed last year due to a rib injury so I am looking forward to it. It was a gift from my parents... this too I think in an effort to keep me out of the city. It sort of worked as I can't give up Jackson Hole and Snowbird. They don't know they didn't really need to lure me away from anything as there is nothing that evil waiting there. My best friend is going with me. My brother is going as well, as are my parents. I can't wait to party NYE in Jackson Hole, those snowboarder's and skiers are the best people to party with. There is so much evil out there in Jackson Hole if my parents only knew. ;) I hear we can even get the New York Times at the place we are staying as well as ...............the Internet. Then to Utah; God they know not what they do. They are afraid of NY and of their daughter dating a twenty-eight year old but willingly send her to the land of "men with many wives." Oh No... The land of "OLD MEN WITH MANY YOUNG WIVES." Sorry. Just be Merry, don't make any stupid New Years resolution and do what makes you happy within the boundaries of self respect and respect for others.

Winner of this years Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is

I find the winning entries of this years Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest entertaining. Does that make me simple? I liked the Grand Panjandrum's Special Award better. I realize however when choosing an award such as this one must be objective.

The Best Laid Plans

It can be daunting in this city at times. The library is a haven of sorts and makes the city seem less vicious. Knowing that people tend to jump from the top of this building, and live here when they can’t afford campus housing does sometimes creep into my mind when here though. I am laying plans for my future. If there is something else I should be doing in here on the eve of my first mid term someone please let me know. Oh, never mind. If I wanted someone to let me know I would be posting this is deadjournal. The plan, much thought has gone into this plan, starts with getting my degree in photography and anthropology completed in a timely fashion, timely meaning in the allotted time for one full degree or four years. This ends in the summer of 2007 and at that time I would then go on to a master’s degree and then a PhD in Anthropology. This should happen in a rapid sequence with no time off for good behavior. Next: on to the next life as a writer and professor of Anthropology, taking photos for fun and profit and for my own Anthropological publication. The children will have to come next, I have decided to have two or three and I would like them prior to the age of thirty and if it can be arranged I would like to start at age 26. This seems like a rather tight timeline, even considering my brilliance ,but waiting to get my doctorate will not be possible due to the fact, (rumor), that having children causes a significant loss of brain cells. I don't t want to risk it. Selfish you say? No one is asking. It's my plan. The trend of waiting to have children until one has a career in full bloom is reversing you see, mainly due to the fact that people live longer and now have plenty of time to enjoy even a couple of careers after the age of forty. I mean face it by the time I am seventy most seventy year olds will still be working. That's a fact. So, where was I? Ok ,the degrees, the kids, and of course because I am not going to be fabulously famous by that time, that will come later, I will have to be married to have children. That is just the way it is as unless you are The Donald, the Oprah , or Goldie Hawn you just can’t get away with it even if you hold credence to some of the rubbish in the Seat of the Soul. Good book for what it was but honestly the average person is not there yet and the kids would suffer for it. Kids always go through enough of their own pain and misery whether real or imagined , no need to supplement it. That is as far as I get at this time and will now wander back to what’s real for me now. As for the father of the children, that will come and that is not even addressable at this time. Work in progress. The Best Laid Plans.

Looking sadly upon the times that are no longer here have passed me by did i miss anything can i afford to miss more will it ever matter less did it ever matter at all only for it to matter again
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Best Clogs not Blogs

Looking for the best blogs on the internet is exhausting. I didn't find the best blogs, but I found the best clogs. So this is what I am getting everyone for Christmas.

The UnCool

I know adding a tagboard somehow shows lack of sophistication. I am just practicing with this thing right now so bear with me. I couldn't get the comment html to work anyway no matter now hard I tried so I finally said hell with it. I have no finals until Thursday. Some people are going home Friday so it is kind of depressing. I will be here next week with only one roommate for the most part. I dragged a tree home after leaving a smoke filled party in the village Saturday. It is really not a tree more like the newly born offspring of a very small fir but I looks fabulous anyway. I am sick of smoke filled parties where students sit around and pretend to be smart and above all that and in the end get totally shit faced and end up looking like frat boys and girls anyway. I finished my photography project for the most part and will write a very long paper on it this week. The project was to be done subsequent to the paper but this is more creative and makes more sense to the brain cells I have.

Just some really warm socks.

Sitting here creating miracles. That is what is supposed to happen at the Holiday Time. I am dumping the library today and giving up to the spirit of the season. I am going Christmas Shopping, or for those that prefer to be politically correct, Holiday Shopping. I have a brother who will be coming into town to return my cell phone which, as I explained or didn't, has been intentionally missing for some time. I am sure that with all the urgency of the Holiday Season it was decided that I could not place those emergency calls, to Santa or worse yet my mother, without a cell phone. So indeed the cell phone will return to my life this afternoon, ( or early evening by the looks of it now). I really don't care I am not much of a phone person. Damn, I was trying to make a Froggle list, you know just in case anyone happens by and wants to see what I want for Christmas, but I am somehow incapable of figuring out how to do it. I think I like blogging in a space where I know no one and no one knows me. I want really warm socks. Someone please get me many pairs of really warm socks.

Here again.

I came here as I wanted a place to write, where friends couldn't come and disparage or disagree. I don't mind disagreement but sometimes one just wants to ramble about how they feel about politics and life without anyone necessarily putting in their two cents. This will be a more mundane if more esoteric place for me than my other journals. The last year of my life has been a rather stinky one and not in a good stinky way but in a bad. I won't pontificate just take my word for, for whatever reason I went into hibernation mode, well sort of hibernation mode. When I returned to school this fall I felt at times I could hardly continue, all the joy that I had felt throughout my life for some reason was not there any longer and I had thoughts about simply leaving NY and taking off for places far away and thinking things out for a year. I didn't tell anyone of course as this would not have been a popular option with contemporaries or with the elders. (I like that word it brings Little Women to mind). I dropped a class, spent a lot of time out at night then had to spent extra time in libraries making it up. Talk about the real life dazed and confused. No doubt this last year sucked my parents separating after 22 years, my grandmother, my saving grace dying, not to mention anything that came before that. I mean give me a break. I got my second wind and talked some sense into myself and one day ended up in the park playing with some dog which turned out to belong to a professor from Columbia University,. a rather cute but sort of irritable professor at least at first. LOL The story sort of starts and ends here, at least for now. I started this two weeks ago and as you can see it took me two weeks to even bother posting it. I have been living without a cell phone now for two months or so, my brother does not approve of me dating someone that is older than I am and as I was spending a lot of time away from the school in the presence of someone my brother felt was undesirable he decided that a call to my parents would be a good thing. My dad asked me to stop seeing this person and I declined and they threatened to shut off my cell phone so I basically sent it to them and told them I didn’t need it anyway. That was pretty stupid in retrospect as I do need a cell phone and I have no funds to purchase one at this time. My grandmother left me some real estate and some money , none of which I have access to without my parents permission until I am twenty one…and as I will only turn twenty this coming may it is a long time coming. My parents are both coming into town this afternoon and I am expected to meet them for lunch after my one class, I think they are giving up on me and bringing my phone back and I certainly hope they are putting some money in my bank account. Wish me luck. Oh and I will at times dicuss politics here and the state of the world and so there. I wish those guys in Canada Luck.