Underwear, Tomatoes, and Twentieth Birthdays.

Today was my twentieth birthday;at least it will be today if I can get blogger to work within the next fifteen minutes. As birthdays go it was pretty mild not a whole lot of noise and celebration, and the decadence was definitely lacking. I did have a couple of friends come by the night I got in from Puerto Rico , they stopped on their way back to NY from the cape and they hung out here until I returned from some work I had to do late this morning. They planted tomatoes for my birthday. That might sound weird but that was by request and because I am way too lazy to do it but I want tomatoes and they did it for me ; they are pretty cool friends who even though they were both brought up in he city like to get their hands dirty once in awhile. Now I hope they grow. Then we went and ate some lobster, at least I ate lobster; that is at least one thing they do pretty well up here. I also received not less then twenty five pairs of underwear. This may seem odd but I always request underwear when people ask and this year it seemed no one really minded purchasing it. Some of it was here when I arrived home from Puerto Rico and some came today. I really do have awesome friends. I am not much of a consumer whore in that I don�t shop as a pastime and never really buy something I don�t need just because everyone else has it , buying things never does it for me, but underwear is different; I need to buy as much of it as I can as often as I can. My feeling on underwear is that one always needs new underwear and the better the underwear the better you feel. There is nothing like good underwear; bad underwear can totally wreck your day and make you look like shit whereas good underwear can make you feel like the coolest shit to be walking the earth. One should always have the best underwear one can afford. Cheap underwear just does not fit correctly nor does it feel good and by that I mean you shouldn�t really feel your underwear; underwear should feel like you are wearing nothing at all. I also figure that underwear should be hot as hell even if it never sees the light of day. If for some reason you get into an accident,and they have to rip off your clothes like they do in trauma situations, you want them to say �damn that is some hot underwear�; you don�t want them to look at these white cotton briefs and think �oh my grandmother has some of those�. Even saggy breasts and the fattest dropped asses look better in good underwear so take note of this. I of course have neither saggy breasts or a fat dropped ass, (you can take my word on that or not), but then again I am only nineteen twenty. My time may come and it may come sooner than later if there is a God ,and he is looking down at this and thinking ,we got to teach that insolent, fine assed, pert breasted , nineteen twenty year old a lesson. I am only suggesting good underwear to everyone for their own good, believe me. Everyone should have some of these take my word for it. You�re girlfriends will love them too because they are not that really trashy stuff you guys often like to purchase for your girlfriends to wear, you know the stuff she wouldn�t be caught dead in and feels like it is sticking into you and itches your skin. This stuff is THE best and most comfortable. The must have most comfortable thong around. The best demi bra ever These just are so comfortable you can't be without them. The standard boy shorts, these are what you want. So I am going to sleep on my bed full of new underwear. What are you going to do? Oh and they found out who "Deep Throat" is. I guess that has some significance to people the age of say....my parents , but after all these years why wreck the mystery. I love mystery.


May the Real Life Begin or Down With Fake Lives.

I was talking to someone the other day on aim and I was busy so I told them I would get back to them when I was back living my real life. It occurred to me shortly thereafter that that was a pretty ridiculous thing to say as if my real life wasn�t what I was living at that exact time what life was it; my fake life? I then started to wonder why I said that and if there was some deeper psychological implication in that statement. I began to wonder if I lived in some kind of alternate world, a world which I feel will disappear someday and my real world will materialize. I promise I have not been indulging in illegal substances despite the fact that Puerto Rico is hardly Bali. We�ll get back to this This would be a much deeper post but I spent way too much time posting an entry to a personal journal I keep a journal that basically only friends read, (everyone needs one of those), so I am tired and without a coherent train of thought. Now for my commentary on recent news. First I do have to comment on the twenty year conviction of the twenty - seven year old Australian women for supposedly transporting 4.1 kilos of marijuana into Indonesia. I believe, as do most people ,that it was one of those things in which the stuff was put there by someone else. I have no way of knowing this of course but look at it this way, what human being with an IQ anywhere close to normal world transport , in a board bag, illegal drugs into a country known for some of the stiffest drug laws in the world. On another note this should be required viewing for all: Midnight Express 1978, good movie despite it being quite old, or if desperate Brokedown Palace, not the greatest movie but you�ll get the point. Also in the news: Mother hires stripper for 16 year old son�s birthday party and the people who developed the pictures called the cops: Not being a parent I can see that this is a sticky issue and the reports are not that inclusive so I don�t really know if the other parents knew about the strippers. I can guarantee no one I knew at that age would have been allowed to attend such an event and I think it is rather sick myself for a mother to do that,( kids should really do that kind of thing subversively), but to actually indict her? Article. I think of all the non indicted the priests again and nope just can�t see it. Speaking of priests this is just great thanks to Fark I read this and this is surely all we need right a bunch of drunken pedophiles. I have no comment on the French thing because quite frankly that is their business. Now back to this real life fake life thing. It has occurred to me that sometimes I live my life as if it is on hold. I do things that I have to do on a daily basis and I do things that I want to do as often as I can but it seems that maybe I am still waiting for my real life to begin. I put my life on hold so many ways over the last couple of years that, on this the eve of my twentieth birthday, I have decided that it is time to change all that. I henceforth have decided to make some resolutions. These are similar to New Years type resolutions except that I intend to keep them. First decision is to stop thinking and start relating to people in on a more personal level without so much forethought as to why I should bother. I will stop considering constantly the future consequences of my actions; this sounds bad but in general I think way too much about the possible consequences of my every action and this often paralyses me. I am going to try to actually go back to school next year with a totally different attitude and try to enjoy myself and not be so obsessive about school at least not so obsessive that I don�t at least see what is going on around me. I am a photographer for goodness sake I need to be more observant of the total picture. I tend to focus way too much on the minuscule. The minuscule is really only important after all when you consider a much larger picture. I am going to enjoy this summer doing what I want and making friends with people that in general I have no interest in being friends with. In the end it might be fun and they might even be really nice people with a story to tell. Everyone has a story to tell yes? I love stories anyway so am going to give it a go. I hope to post later with stories of Puerto Rico or not. I had fun and will head back sometime within the next month possibly. I am currently at the airport waiting for my plane which btw was an hour late but it looks like I am going to be able to leave after all.


Enjoy You Sexy Beasts You

In Puerto Rico for a few days relaxing so will not have much to say at until Monday. So because I feel guilty when I don't update this thing I encourage you to go back and read old entries some are good and some suck but you have to take the good with the bad. I was bored on the plane so decided to do one of these lists. The kind I swore I would never do. Fifty because I am young and there really aren�t a hundred things about me and even the fifty are not that grand. Fifty things about me: I was born in Vermont. I have one sibling. The person I have been the closest to in my life was my grandmother and she died last summer. I have had broken ribs twice. I am an avid snowboarder. Had a couple of small car accidents none of which were my fault. I lived in Australia for several years. My father is an architect I am fascinated with old buildings. I am a photographer. I'm soon to be twenty years on this earth. I love roulette. I am not a vegetarian but I don't eat much meat. I dislike the helpless female role. I dislike owing people anything. Hate to be called hon, honey, baby or any other term of condescension. I feel contempt for girls that let their lives revolve around a man. Feel contempt for myself for said contempt. Have been in love only once. Love classic gothic romance novels. Have traveled extensively. (for my age). Have five friends who I trust implicitly. Usually drink tonic water and lime at parties or bars. Have been totally shit face drunk only once in my life. Am the only straight person I know that has watched �Queer as Folk�. Can keep a secret forever. Rarely gossip. Don't like mama�s boys. I am smarter than I look. I usually give people second chances. Tend to appear distant but am usually just preoccupied. Become obsessed with work or school. I hate injustice. My fav movies- Breakfast at Tiffany�s, American Graffiti, Taxi Driver and The Lion King. Have a thing for John Malkovich. Read a lot of books. Played soccer for several years and actually liked tripping people on purpose. Get an adrenaline rush from running. I believe we are responsible for the world but I don't believe we have the right of imposition. I do not understand why children in, (Russia, parts of Latin Amercia, most of Africa), do not have proper insulin and therefore die young from a disease which at this point in time is at least controllable with the technology available. I put my money where my mouth is in regard to causes I support. I prefer quality over quantity. Believe that if someone can't take care if their teeth and nails the rest of their body is likely to be a mess as well. Read the Washington Post every Sunday just by habit and if I can't get it my day is ruined. Read the Wall street Journal, also due to habit as it was always in my house, but don't necessarily go into a panic when I don't get to read it. I think Frampton Comes Alive is a great listen. I am a liberal democrat but prefer to think for myself. Have only played and won few computer games in my life and that was when I was really young. ( Zelda, Mario, Tetris of course and Final Fantasy). Have never shopped at Walmart. Invest in the stock market. Own a couple of houses and some land all of which will be mine to do with as I please when I am twenty- one. Love old Alfred Hitchcock films. If I ever see "It's a Wonderful Life� again it will be too soon. I read the blog �dirty boy's dirty thought � at the airport in San Juan waiting for a friend to get in and I marked it and plan to read it again. I removed three as this list was too long and they were kind of personal anyway and I decided against sharing them in cyberspace. This is probably over fifty but what else was there to do on a plane. Off to Arecibo tomorrow to do some body boarding.Ya�ll take care.


Searching for fluff and Country Club Dinners

Last evening: A continuation of my previous posting at least partially. The evening went partially as predicted with talk ensuing as scheduled. There were seven college age offspring and woe is me I was not the only one that was bored out of my mind. The funniest thing that happened, to make it brief and prevent my usual pontification, was that girl on the left, we will call her girl number one, had the immediate hots for guy across the table, (henceforth called guy number one), girl number one was absolutely gorgeous and probably worth photographing,( but she probably won�t concede to it because she thinks I have the hots for the guy she wanted), but had obviously already been with both guy number two and guy number three and guy number one was new to her. Guy number two and three go to Brown and UVA respectively and guy number one, hot by any standards, goes to Berkeley and is back home for the summer for the first time in two years so he was new to her. Stay with me here. Girl number one salivating over guy number one irritated because I am talking to guy number one and she can�t seem to get a word in edgewise. Guy number one, dressed immaculately but not looking as if he had put all that much effort into it and not really seemingly overjoyed by gorgeous blonde girl trying to get his attention. Guy number two and three are prattling on about sailing and golfing, offering to teach me to do both neither which hold much interest to me , discussing school and their future plans which include law school and med school respectively and how they are going to spend the summer taking a break from it all. Yes I can imagine they are.Guy number one discussing Africa , which overall holds more interest for me and not asking me to go sailing or offering to teach me to golf which also holds more interest to me. Something else which also holds more interest to me is that after the first half hour or so of dinner not cocktails, I am not that quick, but dinner I knew that guy number one was gay. I also knew that his parents had absolutely no clue as to that fact nor obviously did girl number one. My mother, for all her pain in the assness, also knew it hence a moment when she looked at me across the dinner table , while girl number one was desperately trying to get the attention of guy number one, and we shared a moment. These moments are exceedingly rare so when we share them I like to savor them. Bottom line is after dinner I took off to the bar with guy number one while blonde girl gave me hateful looks. I mean I couldn�t turn around and say look sweety he is gay you still want him now could I? He is an extremely interesting guy and overall I did end up asking him how it was that his parents had no clue he was gay and what he planned to do about it. This was probably rude of me but you know a shot of tequila and that is what happens. My mother I think just gave up and went home because as soon as I headed off with guy number one,( gay guy), she figured all was lost and that her attempts to find me proper male companionship for the summer had failed. She still just doesn�t get that I can find my own companionship and it does not usually come in the form of children of her country club compatriots.She is starting to get it though and I realize she is really a good mother and most of the antagonism I feel toward her does not necessarily stem from her little efforts to socialize me but from a deep down fear of totally disappointing her or maybe of disappointing myself and ending up nothing more in the end then the consort of some upper class career type whose only interest is the bottom line. Not too shabby an evening as after all I met gay guy and also girl number two and three who, I have not previously mentioned, were inordinately grateful that I had no interest in guys number two and three thus leaving both to them and their hopes for a summer love affair. They have therefore invited me to a few little outings over the summer one or two which actually sound interesting if not for social reasons for anthropological ones. The other thing that is weird is that they really don't serve crab here the way they do in Maryland. It always comes in some kind of mixture. Now I was never a crab aficionado as many people down there are, spending a whole evening picking crabs and drinking beer etc, but I never minded if someone wanted to pick them for me. They just don't do that in New England which for some reason annoys me but then again they don't have the bay to get crabs from I guess. I got home around eleven or eleven thirty and for some reason proceeded to want food. God knows why but for those chatting with me that is why I disappeared for an hour. I was looking for something and came upon a jar of Fluff. I have not seen fluff in like forever. I think my brother must have brought it with him. I immediately wanted a Fluff and peanut butter sandwich so I started to search for peanut butter. I searched and searched and searched some more. I was frantic for peanut butter. How that is a strict vegetarian, (my mother), does not have a jar of peanut butter in the house? I don't know. That being unsuccessful I finally gave up and went to bed.


Day of almost awesomeness or at least it didn't suck.

A day of awesomeness: Went to my photo shoot, and believe me I use this term only to make me feel important, and ended up meeting a really cool guy who happened to be writing a newspaper article on this same event I was covering.. We spoke for some reason and he then proceeded to ask me to snap a couple of pictures for him which I did. (See I am easy) I also got some kiss ass pictures and they are already where they need to be. I then went to lunch with cool guy causing me to miss lunch with my mother and her business partner; this I didn�t mind in the least. We went to a library which was having a book sale on tons of new books this instigated a purchasing spree with me buying at least twelve old/new books that I will hopefully read this summer. These books are inclusive of but not limited to � The Five People You meet in Heaven�,� What If �, �Colin Powell, My American Journey,� Anyone Can Grow Up� and on and on. I love getting new books for practically nothing and I do hope to read them. I hate not being able to read for enjoyment during the school year but I am not superwomen. Then we took a trip to a beach about an hour from here and went to a shop there, looked at body boards and snow boards; we also got some delicious ice cream even though it was not that warm here today and at one point almost raining. I am not really an ice cream person but I got coffee ice cream and it tasted like heaven. Cool guy is coming with me tomorrow when I go to take pictures of old buildings. This could be fun or not but I am willing to go with it for now. He goes to University of New Hampshire and snowboards like all the time so there you go;he lives in Boston though and will only be here a few more days but I am glad to have a semi normal person to talk to and I am always up for new friends. What can I say I love books, snow boards, body boards and cool guys in that order? The snow boards, books, and body boards are so much easier to find though. Wonder why that is? Not so cool stuff: My mom has requested that I attend a sort of country club soiree thing, the kind that goes on all the time around here evidently. It so happens,( surprise, surprise) that there are a couple of my parents friends who have children away at college as well and they are all descending on their parents homes or summer homes and these parents have decided to do dinner, kids and all. This is a planned intervention of sorts where the college age children can meet each other and potentially like each other , potentially play tennis together, and then of course fall in love and marry each other�being from the same socioeconomic class and all, having the same goals and going to the best schools is so important you know. This usually would be one of those things that I would just say no to and move on but as I have had a rough year with my parents, my mom in particular I am going to give her this one. Do I get some kind of medal or at least a ribbon for this? This will be Friday or Saturday she will let me know when she finds out the exact evening. She looked rather pleased with herself but she also looked quite prepared for me to say no and I think I maybe made her happy for one second. I have decided that I will allow her to pick out whatever little black or white or whatever color dress she wants me to wear and do whatever for one night. I am not giving up I am just making it easier on myself and consequently on them. This will be the last summer I ever live with them. That is predetermined. Good news for me is that my brother and his girlfriend are coming up tomorrow and he will be attending this little dinner as well. He likes them though as he is into all that country club crap. How bad can it be right? I hated the country club growing up. I did enjoy playing tennis but that is about it. I don�t think I attended more then one or two forced country club events a year when I lived in Maryland. So , maybe not awesome but it could be worse.

Quest for Sushi and Xanax.

Today was the great quest for sushi. I have found out that where I am living at this time, with my parents mind you as they decided to relocate this past winter, well this place is seriously lacking in places to get sushi, sashimi etc. I did manage to find some this evening. I can�t live without the stuff. Where I live during the year it is readily available and where I used to live, even being forty five minutes from two large cities, I could get sushi at any number of places within a reasonable distance. Ugh Today was a cleaning day for me, looking around the city where I will be spending most of the summer and getting things in order; in other words quite boring except for my quest for sushi. I have a compulsion to study something and don�t know what to do with myself. I find myself jumping up knowing that something has to be read or written or reviewed. I have a couple of photography jobs which will take care of my boredom for a couple of days and provide me with a few dollars, and I do mean few. One is for regional news magazine-let and will be taking pictures of goings on in certain regions around this city; civic type activities mostly people pictures. This I can do all summer if I want. I will do a two hours shoot tomorrow at some brunch on the shore and then basically vege out again. Thursday I have to go to a town in Massachusetts and take pictures of old buildings. I actually like old buildings and these are buildings that were at one time factories. There is a certain premise to the whole thing but I am not going to elaborate too much here. I got this job via someone I know who knew someone I know sort of, and also via work passed on. It is a junk job as the photographer that assigned me to this doesn�t want to do it but then again I don�t blame him. He is somewhat well known in both the area I came from and on the coast of New England so I will do whatever he says and like it or not but do it anyway. Beggars can�t be choosers. This work is for a client of his and will be published but in one of those arcane architectural publications. The other problem is that the man that hired me wants me to send him the film and not have me develop it myself. This is kind of a freak out for me as I always do it myself when doing this kind of thing; I mean this really bothered me all day. I am not sure why but it seems like I lose some kind of control when I don�t do it myself and it almost puts me in a panic mode. I guess I like to control things. When I can�t control everything about anything I do I don�t deal well with it. I don�t want to control external events or people but I like to control everything that I do completely. Is this pathological in nature? Do most people feel anxiety when they can�t have total control over everything they do? I don�t know but that is the way I feel. Looks like I lose this battle though so bring out the anti panic medications. I want to work for this guy again so I will bite the bullet and pull out the xanax. Is it xanax ? I don�t know I have never taken anything but it sounds good to me at this point. I think my roommate last year took xanax for test anxiety or so she said anyway. I�m heading to Puerto Rico with a friend in a few days, she is my best friend from high school and I am always happy when I get to spend time with her. It will be more of a rest and some body boarding then anything else. Oh one other complaint before I go. I had to go to three places to find a Sunday Washington Post Sunday. What is wrong with these people? We get the NYT, WSJ but the post is something no longer ordered and I will have to rectify that I think or there is no living here. The paper makes me crazy sometimes but I can�t live without it.


I am a sexy peace goddess

I know I am supposed to keep this thing up. It�s really a lot harder to do then one might think. I feel guilty that I haven�t written in it since Thursday but as it is I am finally off from school for awhile and was taking a break. Oh and I have just been having the most exciting time. I have packed boxes until my fingers are bleeding.I have been to an art gallery, read the Alchemist, bathed a dog, ran three miles a day,visited to a steak house where they, believe it or not, did not have one vegetarian entree ����� that really pissed me off ; I also went to a lacrosse game. I have a lot of good friends who play lacrosse but it is a rather nasty game. One mad guy with that stick and your cervical spine could be shattered. I watched Blow Out- not all that great- Sex Lies and Videotapes � good old movie from like 1985. I was totally into James Spader despite his blondeness and impotence until the end of the movie when he was going to do it with Andy McDowell and he went to shut off the video camera and I saw his fingernails; his fingernails were quite long, and that sends chills down my spine. Long nails on guys, even if they are clean, always make me somewhat queasy. I have a weak stomach that way. I was told that my blog has fallen off on top college blogs and it was suggested to me that I update at least every other day and maybe start posting pictures ,sex pictures ,or rename my blog �college girl doesn�t do it but will watch you get off �. No kidding someone actually sent me that in an email. It was the same person who happened to be doing a search in google for �Michael Phelps pubic hair� when he happened to come upon my little place here. My biggest concern, of course, is how whoever it was knew I liked to watch. Ok on with it. Once I get acclimated to being out of school I am going to write something amazing. That may well be when I am really out of school in a couple of years or it may be tomorrow. I have also taken no less then fifteen quizzes, something I always abhorred due to my elitist nature. I have found out that I am a peacekeeping girl next door with a very healthy sex drive (fourth gear no less yea me), that I need a partner that is a type four ( hummm don�t ask). I am a steady mate with social intelligence and am a forgiving humanitarian. I am also HESTIA, the Goddess of Family and Peace. I exude femininity and sensuality, need an artiste, am the girl next door and am very sex smart. I am thrilled , as you can imagine. I am tired and this is boring even me so when the knight carries me off ��. oops I forgot I scored below midline in wanting my man to be romantic, I prefer them mature like Jack Nicholson. So scratch that. I�ll be back.


Lessons learned in college.

I don�t feel like writing anything particularly profound and probably couldn�t if I tried. My sophomore year of college is over with. I have decided to merely make a list (because I know people are so fond of lists) of what I have taken away from the last two years. I am not used to going to bed before three am so this will surely put me to sleep. I am going to seriously have to do something with that biological clock so if anyone knows how to reset it let me know. Now on to the list. Knowledge acquired over the last two years: Some people don�t flush toilets. Sometimes it does not pay to be tactful; you just have to tell it like it is. Some people do go to college to get an education. Not all liberal democrats know what the fuck they are talking about and god help us they need to or we are screwed. Yes, cleanliness is next to godliness. You have to believe in yourself. Never let anyone own you, for any reason at any time. Try to keep your head above water as the minute you go under, even slightly, the task of pulling yourself up becomes almost impossible. You have to have a couple of good friends. Listening to people get it on in your room after sneaking in and thinking you are a sleep is not a turn on. This is where the not being tactful comes in. You just got to learn to say�if you�re gonna fuck do it before I get in the room and am sleeping peacefully in my own bed so I don�t have to wake up and think I am still in my own nightmare. You don�t have to like everyone or even be especially friendly to everyone but don�t be rude and try to see what is around you because there may be someone out there that needs help. Karma. It�s nice to know someone with a car in the city for the simple fact of getting out of the city. Never go out with someone ten years older then you just because you find him to be smarter then guys your own age, more interesting and not so much of a pig, because in the end your brother will tell your parents and they will bug the living heck out of you for the rest of your life and think you have gone mad. This is a pain because they will then come into the city to have various lunches with you when you do not have time to socialize with your parents. Also in the end you will realize that ten year older guy only wanted to sleep with you and although he might have waited a longer period time then most guys your age before making that clear you will feel justified in your thought that men and women are just different . You will pass up the opportunity anyway because he wasn�t that smart (you will be smarter in ten years), you need to get back to studying and you really were not that sexually attracted to him anyway. Real evil is actually very rare it just seems to be everywhere due to media whoring. There are some fucked up people in this world and you are lucky to have escaped all that fucked upness. Oh and you hate the color orange like really hate it and if you ever see it again it will be too soon. Eat a lot of sushi and never eat in a place that doesn�t have a public restroom. Ah the lessons we learn eh?


Something or Nothing

This has been floating around - from the ultra-pompous Inside the Actor's Studio , the ten questions asked: So ultra pompous me filled in my answers. 1. What is your favorite word? Esoteric 2. What is your least favorite word? hon 3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Passion for life. 4. What turns you off? Arrogance/ and body odor 5. What is your favorite curse word? fcuk 6. What sound or noise do you love? Friends laughing - real laughter 7. What sound or noise do you hate? Harsh knocking on doors 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Politician of some sort. 9. What profession would not like to do? Accountant 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Call me Buddha, call me God, call me whatever. Semantics my dear girl Semantics is all. Other Random note worthies for the day: So the word �love" that we use today we did not get from Latin or Greek, but from Anglo Saxon. It first appeared in the ninth century, and as far as can be understood today seems to have been used to mean " the care one feels for something precious that one already owns" , as distinguished from " lust"( also from Anglo Saxon) which meant " the desire for something precious that one does not already own." Thus both love and lust could be felt equally for horses, gems , art, or women(men) and in equal fashion. You might even find it interesting ,or not ,to note that the more recently a man has has had an orgasm the better they do on Mensa entrance exams. The above taken from a book that has been around a couple years called �Girls�. Written by man ,it is scary/sad ,and /or informational depending on how you look at it. I do recommend it though if you�re over eighteen and female. Word on the street is that Maggie Mead tended to be lazy.

Graduation- Not Mine I just wish it were

My brother�s graduation from college is over. It was not exactly a waste of a day and a half to leave the city and go to it but almost. The key speaker was the director of US citizenship and immigration and can we say YAWN. I think that they should have just send everyone their diploma in the mail, had a party and gotten the key speaker totally stoned and seen what happened. It would have been more entertaining. Nice to see my brother done though as he ended up at U Conn due to a not so stellar high school career despite being actually rather smart. Yes, dear bro tended to like the girls and he liked to party and despite going to a Catholic High School he managed to do it pretty well. I don�t know if I blame him as they (girls) followed him around, called him incessantly and did everything they could do to get his attention from the time he was in eighth grade. I always found it pathetic myself and often wondered if he realized that some of this attention came due to his family having money and him , later on , having a cool car. I mean my brothers is not bad, he had a good genetic foundation and I guess you could say he is hot and all, but being a girl myself and having had to listen to quite a bit of �girl talk � over the years I knew the money and the car had a lot to do with it. Anyway, it�s over and he heads off to grad school next fall and is finally actually going out with a girl who, in my opinion, does not date him for his money or his car or his past but for himself so yeah Josh. I won�t have time to write much at the beginning this week, at least not anything substantive ; it will be nothing or total crap. Exams, moving out etc. However you can look forward to a summary of my totally sexless sophomore year of college soon. Lucky you. addendum: I don�t want you all to be bored so here a rather humorous aim. I stole it from Modified Living the website of some fraternity cretin from Bucknell. I am so much better then this ,but this aim is funny as is the site if you are not prone to worrying too much about political correctness, and understand that the guy is most likely nowhere near as ignorant as at first he would appear to be. This is supposed to be an aim this guy had with Michael Phelps. Either way it is funny. harmless lil boy: rumor has it that this is Michael Phelps? harmless lil boy: care to set that rumor straight? miiikeymiiikey: whos this harmless lil boy: No one you know, obviously. harmless lil boy: just a curious college kid with more than enough time on his hands harmless lil boy: so what's the verdict? miiikeymiiikey: where did you get this sn harmless lil boy: An anonymous source gave it to me, claimed that you were Michael Phelps harmless lil boy: a simple yes or no would suffice. miiikeymiiikey: who was it harmless lil boy: All questions Miiikey, no answers. harmless lil boy: Are in you in fact michael phelps? harmless lil boy: simple question I think. miiikeymiiikey: this is gay harmless lil boy: So Michael Phelps is a gay basher? Why is this gay? harmless lil boy: Are you or are you not Michael Phelps? miiikeymiiikey: because, youre allowed to ask me questions and expect me to waste my time answering them, but you wont even do me the courtesy of answering mine harmless lil boy: Because I have only asked one question, and have gotten no response harmless lil boy: When you answer mine, I will answer yours. harmless lil boy: simple. harmless lil boy: so... miiikeymiiikey: my name is michael phelps. my friends call me mikey. miiikeymiiikey: where did you get my screen name harmless lil boy: Are you michael phelps the olympic swimmer, that was the question miiikeymiiikey: yes i swim miiikeymiiikey: where did you get this screen name harmless lil boy: are you THE olympic swimmer? miiikeymiiikey: yes, where the hell did you get my screen name harmless lil boy: Well, congrats on all those medals kind sir. harmless lil boy: Well, a fan of mine gave me your screen name. miiikeymiiikey: a fan of yours? who is this harmless lil boy: I happen to also be famous, although not to the extent of yourself, but in terms of the college world and the internet, I am quite well known. harmless lil boy: http://modifiedliving.com harmless lil boy: Like I said, a fan of mine gave me your screen name. miiikeymiiikey: he emailed it to you or what? harmless lil boy: no, IMed miiikeymiiikey: because i have been getting a lot of weird ims today harmless lil boy: Ha miiikeymiiikey: im going to have to block everyone thats not on my buddy list harmless lil boy: well, your screen name was actually posted online for a little... miiikeymiiikey: give me a fucking break harmless lil boy: but then I was informed that this screen name was not yours miiikeymiiikey: your kidding harmless lil boy: but then you just confirmed that it was in fact you harmless lil boy: so we are left with a bit of a problem harmless lil boy: do i respect the wishes of an olympian, or do I go about my selfish ways and post your screen name? miiikeymiiikey: was this kids name steve? bc my girl just told me she thinks she knows who is behind all this shit harmless lil boy: Why would your girl be giving out your screen name, thats not very "your girl" of her to be doing. harmless lil boy: tramp. miiikeymiiikey: no, shes my best friend from home. she had an away message up with an im id sent her and apparently he figured the shit out on his own. miiikeymiiikey: but she knows your site harmless lil boy: Like I said, everyone knows my site, I'm famous. miiikeymiiikey: shes in a sorority harmless lil boy: As are most of my fan base. miiikeymiiikey: she was just telling me about it like 2 days ago miiikeymiiikey: she thinks its hilarious harmless lil boy: It is hilarious, she had good taste in humor. miiikeymiiikey: shes got good taste in a lot of things harmless lil boy: Does that mean you've taken her to pound town? miiikeymiiikey: i wish harmless lil boy: Dude, you are an olympian, you should be getting crazy boy band ass. miiikeymiiikey: she knows the real me miiikeymiiikey: weve been friends for 12 years you know harmless lil boy: I mean, you did have that minor DUI bump in the road, but I think that shouldn't detract from your "Hey I'm michael phelps, suck my cock" game. harmless lil boy: oh, so she�s one of the girls who was there before the MP bandwagon train rolled into town? miiikeymiiikey: yeah shes the fuckin love of my life..ha. miiikeymiiikey: shes turned me down dozens of times miiikeymiiikey: she keeps getting hotter. i cant stop. harmless lil boy: why don�t you just show up to her house, completely ass naked, wearing your gold medals? if that doesn�t work, then I don�t know what will. miiikeymiiikey: shed kick me in the balls and lock me out in the cold harmless lil boy: does she have a boyfriend? miiikeymiiikey: uh she did miiikeymiiikey: he died miiikeymiiikey: so its weird harmless lil boy: Because I know people, we can make him disappear harmless lil boy: ooooh, nevermind then miiikeymiiikey: ha yeah harmless lil boy: looks like that was already taken care of. harmless lil boy: well, sorry to hear that miiikeymiiikey: it happens miiikeymiiikey: fucking war..you know harmless lil boy: yeh, crazy times we live in. miiikeymiiikey: im not supposed to talk about it miiikeymiiikey: but i have opinions harmless lil boy: why aren�t you allowed to talk about the war? harmless lil boy: is there some list of things that a public figure isn�t allowed to discuss? miiikeymiiikey: yeah kind of harmless lil boy: like war, midget gang bangs, what else? miiikeymiiikey: HA harmless lil boy: Here�s a question: what was you BAC when you got busted for your DUI? harmless lil boy: wait, are you even 21? miiikeymiiikey: im 19 harmless lil boy: jesus, I think your parents fed you steroids miiikeymiiikey: haha harmless lil boy: Didn't they take away your Wheaties sponsorship for that shit? miiikeymiiikey: they took a few things away harmless lil boy: If I were your agent/publicist, I would have you marketing Colt 45 or Old English 40 oz's� miiikeymiiikey: shit hit the fan harmless lil boy: You could be making millions! �I�m Michael Phelps, and when I�m not dominating the world wearing my Speedo, I�m drunk off Colt 45, and driving around town looking for sluts.� miiikeymiiikey: haha miiikeymiiikey: i was just told to stop iming you miiikeymiiikey: so i gotta go miiikeymiiikey: sorry harmless lil boy: haha, told by who? harmless lil boy: the girl? harmless lil boy: haha, what's her screen name harmless lil boy: let me chat her up miiikeymiiikey: ***"CENSORED"**** miiikeymiiikey: oh im a fuckin idiot. shes going to kill me miiikeymiiikey: but yeah she said youd post this on your site miiikeymiiikey: so i gotta roll dude harmless lil boy: hahah harmless lil boy: well, she is a smart, smart girl miiikeymiiikey: fuck miiikeymiiikey: all right bye


End Of Year College Kaos and Nervous Breakdowns

You all get stuck with this because I don�t know you and my real friends don�t want to hear it. So Thank You. So far so good. I am disorganized though, and not as focused as I usually am and that worries me. Exam time, in general, makes everyone a little crazy. In addition to finals I have my brother�s college graduation this weekend. Random pointless notes about last night while I was trying to study and fight off a nervous breakdown. A group of people were arguing very loudly about pubic hair -no not kidding - like most of them did not have enough to do already. Voting on pubes, shaved or not, and as this subject really pissed me off I told them to shut up I didn't give damn. I have always felt that guys who preferred totally shaven women were pedophiles in some way. (think about it). Someone then decided to come into my room and start talking; this meant then I had to be a bitch and tell them to leave as I was studying and I did not have time for a potentially insipid discussion. (I didn�t really say it that way) Then someone started an argument about Ann Coulter and wondered if she totally shaved her pubic hair off; I offered that most likely she didn�t as we all know she is a man anyway. I then really had to be a killer of all joy and tell them that I was devoted to my studies and therefore had to resign from further discussion. I know it was kind of a stress buster to sit around and talk about pubic hair but stop already; I needed to study and write. So, I finally got to totally retire to my sanctuary where I got right down to serious work reading an online journal belonging to someone I don�t know, and posting various random comments , which made me look like a totally semi nutso person, then I drank a pot of coffee, talked to roommate, lost my notes, found my notes, remembered that someone had my camera, not my digi or my regular 35 mm but my very old and first camera, an old Minolta, which is older than I am but which I treasure and use to take most of my black and white photos. I continue to post comments in random persons journal because he is kind of cute and I am a " wanna be slut ". I had to place call to find camera even though I didn�t need it and it�s a piece of crap anyway; I just have an attachment to old things. In the meantime I have purchased every cd ever produced belonging to Jackson Brown and plan to listen to nothing but until I get out of here next week. Of course the mind moves continually and the Lyrics of " Seven Nation Army " float around in my brain. Don't want to hear about it every single one's got a story to tell everyone knows about it From the Queen of England to the hounds of hell You get the picture. Kind of destroys my whole Jackson Brown plan though. Allie (fake name roommate) is done with all her exams. I don�t know how that can happen but so she says, it is her birthday and she wants to go to this club. This club is the pits to me, but she had her boyfriend purchased a ton of tickets to go to this ladies night thing; the big thing is having all her good friends here with her. (She is twenty- one) This stinks for me as I have no interest in going at all, and I do have to pass in a collaborative assignment tomorrow; it�s done mind you but I could use the night to actually look it over again as anal as I tend to be. In a way I feel obligated due to the fact that if it weren�t for her and another roommate, both juniors, I might have been stuck in some real pit stop this year or at the very least somewhere a lot further away then I am. I don�t know, it�s not too far from here so that is not a problem, I just hate this place , and not to mention you have to dress and deal with various assortment of HAD, BAD, CAD, SAD, MAD, RAD AND GLAD BOYS, glad boys not so much on Thursdays or at this particular place, except for probably the entertainment, but still. Will I be the martyr and give two hours of my life to this friend? Tune in later; if I �m still here you�ll know I have once again been a selfish bitch. Back I go to the study of an uncertain human science which seeks to transcend it�s unsavory history, and to seek guidance from a conglomerate of professors of the photographic arts who in evaluating my work have to evaluate their own and in a sense have a lot to lose and, or gain, but whose narcissism sometimes if not often, gets in the way of any real critical effort. (This is a stress joke, really it is) I am a normal person living in a not so normal place and that is it in a nutshell.



palm branches weeks after Easter still in the car From this blog and I love it. Honestly think about it. NYC has the coolest seventy year olds in the world. Thanks to sezwho I know that The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational has some winners. My favorites were : Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it I am in such a fog that after reading the Times yesterday the only thing I remember is that Ray Bradbury isn't dead ,( he was giving some thoughts about star wars or something). I am glad he is not dead , even though I could barely get through that last book he wrote, I really thought he was. I totally get the whole Runaway Bride Thing. Mutual Nuclear Deterrence